Love is about finding someone you want to be with, not just understanding their past, but also wanting to own their future.
Living with someone, feeling their joys and sorrows, because of them, your life has changed, and you’re no longer alone, but have an emotional belonging.
However, many people, when in love, often suffer from anxiety, wondering if the other person loves them back. Sometimes, they feel the other person doesn’t love them enough.
Originally, emotions are very elusive, and the deeper you love, the more you fear losing.
When you decide to give your emotions to someone, you worry if you’ve chosen the right person, because, for many people, loving someone is a lifelong commitment.
Zhou Guoping says that in love, if you can’t feel his love, there are usually three reasons.
Two People’s Emotional Expression is Not the Same
In love, everyone is not the same.
Some people are passionate, and when they like someone, they’ll boldly express themselves and pursue their love; some people are introverted, and when they like someone, they won’t openly express their love, but prove it through their actions.
If two people resonate, it’s easy to understand each other’s thoughts. However, two people in love often have differences in their upbringing or personalities, making it difficult to completely understand each other’s thoughts.
In such cases, even if both people have good feelings for each other, they might not know if the other person truly loves them. If the passive person doesn’t take the initiative, the active person might retreat, missing a great opportunity.
If you really like someone, Zhou Guoping suggests expressing your love in a way the other person understands and trying to understand their way of expressing love.
Some People’s Emotions are Naturally More Subdued
Zhou Guoping says that some people’s emotional capacity is limited, and even if they give their all, you might still feel it’s not enough. But that’s just how they are, no matter who they love.
In the past, I thought everyone’s love was the same, and when I met someone I really liked, I might have been overly enthusiastic. However, when I really encountered it, I realized it wasn’t entirely so.
When I was with him, he never said “I love you,” and he didn’t show excessive passion. Even when I did something, he would give a neutral evaluation.
Although we were together, it often felt like a slightly closer friendship. Yet, everyone said he was really good to me.
When I was sick, he would prepare a sugar-coated pill to make the medicine less bitter and even found some not-so-bad-tasting remedies. He did many things, but I felt it was insignificant.
Unfortunately, I was too young at the time, and being with him felt too dull. I felt like an old married couple, and in love, I always had a sense of decay.
Later, I chose to leave, and I encountered various men, got hurt, and cried. When I cried in front of him, he treated me the same as before.
Sometimes I asked him, “Do you love me?” He would just say “silly,” but I wanted a clear, passionate, and intense love.
In the end, we didn’t end up together. A few years later, I went to his city, drank with his friends, and they told me, “He truly liked only me.”
It was too late; he was already married, and I had found someone I wanted to spend my life with.
Looking back, maybe he was just that kind of person—no matter what happened, he wouldn’t say much, even if it was love; he didn’t think it was that important.
He Just Doesn’t Like You Enough
You’re with him, but you never have a sense of security. You’re prepared to spend your life with him, but he’s hesitant.
There’s only one reason—he just doesn’t like you enough. He’s with you because he hasn’t found his ideal type, and you’re not annoying, so he’s temporarily using you as a backup.
There are many people like this in life. He might not dislike you, but occasionally flirts with you, saying ambiguous words, making your heart skip a beat.
However, you wait for him to confess, to announce to friends that you’re his girlfriend, but you wait in vain.
He’s just trying to keep things ambiguous with you for a while, possibly because he’s afraid of being alone or using you as an excuse to ward off others. In any case, he doesn’t think about the consequences with you.
No matter how much you give, it’s futile. So, when you encounter someone like this, it’s better to cut off your emotions quickly and not let yourself sink deeper.
You like someone, enjoying their conversations, wanting to get close to them, seeing their smile, thinking that’s love, willing to give your all for them.
However, you must remember that love is mutual, and one person’s love is just a solo performance. When you wake up, the person who gets hurt the most is still you.
Love is the most beautiful thing in the world, but one-sided love is doomed to fail. When you give your all, and he leaves you, how can you pick up the pieces of your broken heart?
Zhou Guoping says that one day, when he leaves you, you’ll initially feel sentimental, lost, and even hurt.
However, as time passes, you’ll forget quickly. Another scenery will enter your vision, replacing all your previous thoughts, and you’ll feel that you love the new scenery more.
The decision to love or not is ultimately up to you. When you meet someone who loves you, cherish them; if someone doesn’t love you, try to let go.