After experiencing emotional betrayal, many people choose to salvage the relationship. However, not everyone can be won back. Therefore, after facing emotional betrayal, it is essential to stay clear-headed and evaluate the possibility of the other person coming back. If the chance is high, you can strive in that direction. If not, it is best to make other choices and plans instead of walking into a dead end.
So, under what circumstances or for whom is the possibility of a return high?
Firstly, when the other party admits the betrayal truthfully without denial or deception.
Knowing about the betrayal is a crucial turning point. For many betrayers, they cheat on their marriage and family for various reasons, hoping to get away with it. However, they are well aware that it is a fleeting relationship that can continue as long as the spouse remains unaware. Once the spouse finds out, it will come to an immediate halt.
In such a case, if you are aware of the betrayal and expose it, you do not need to say much. The other party usually chooses to end the betrayal and return to the family.
Conversely, if you are well aware of the betrayal, but the other party continues to deny and deceive, insisting on being caught red-handed before admitting, even with ample evidence presented, the chances of a return are very low.
Why is this so?
From a psychological standpoint, the explanation is as follows: those who deny and deceive after betrayal are afraid of taking responsibility. And “returning” itself implies taking responsibility. Those who fear taking responsibility also fear coming back.
Another perspective is that for some betrayers, as long as the spouse remains unaware, they do not consider it as harm. Once the spouse knows, they realize the harm caused to the other party. Although this logic may seem bizarre, that is how they think, leading them to choose to return.
Secondly, the duration of the extramarital affair.
This principle is relatively easy to understand. Short-term affairs involve less entanglement and are easier to end. In contrast, long-term affairs, where some betrayers claim “they have developed feelings,” are harder to sever.
In such challenging situations, from the betrayer’s subjective point of view, they do not wish to end the relationship because they have invested too much. Additionally, all relationships develop inertia or dependency, including extramarital affairs. If a betrayer becomes dependent on an extramarital relationship, the likelihood of ending it is low.
Especially in cases of female betrayal, this trend is more pronounced. For many women, seeking an extramarital relationship is often about finding a new form of dependency.
Usually, betrayers do not opt for divorce. Instead, they choose to continue deceiving and concealing to maintain the affair discreetly. Simultaneously, in their original marriage, it seems like they are attempting to return. In reality, they are reluctant to let go of either side.
As for how to measure the specific duration, it varies from person to person. There is no specific standard. Some individuals may find it hard to end a relationship in a few months, while others can sever ties even after years of infidelity. Generally, the longer the affair, the lower the likelihood of it ending, demonstrating an inverse relationship.
Lastly, the personality of the betrayer.
Concerning matters of emotions and marriage, one’s values and character are evident.
Individuals with the following characteristics find it challenging to return after betraying a relationship:
- Stubborn and paranoid, they act extremely without considering consequences.
- Narcissistic and domineering, they lack respect for others’ feelings.
- Vanity-driven and selfish.
- Timid and indecisive in handling situations.
People with these traits find it challenging to return after betraying a marriage. Even if they do return, there are often lingering repercussions. This kind of return is merely superficial and may lead to betrayal again after some time.
Generally, those with a high likelihood of returning after betrayal are those who are bold and straightforward. They are unlikely to deny or deceive; instead, they will admit their betrayal truthfully, perhaps not in detail, but they will acknowledge it and leave the choice to you without causing difficulties.
Moreover, they usually take family matters seriously, fulfilling their basic responsibilities towards parents and children, rather than neglecting household affairs or avoiding responsibilities.
All in all, these are just probabilities. Each individual is unique. After experiencing emotional betrayal, if you choose to salvage the relationship, set a time limit for yourself. Practice is the only way to test the truth. If your efforts succeed, great. If not, accept the outcome and choose a path that suits you without getting stuck and tormenting yourself.