In a marriage, women are often the disadvantaged group, not only economically but also emotionally.
Men and women have different levels of emotional dependence. Many women put all their energy into marriage after tying the knot, unconditionally treating the man well, embodying the image of a “good wife and mother” to the fullest.
Ironically, it is this saintly love that often leads the marriage to its end.
Miss Summer and Mr. Smith have been married for 5 years, with two lovely kids. To outsiders, they are a happy family of four.
Initially, Miss Summer pursued Mr. Smith actively, so she treated him exceptionally well before marriage.
After marriage, as a full-time wife, Miss Summer felt all the financial burden was on Mr. Smith alone, so she became even more caring and accommodating.
Not only did she do household chores, but even put his dirty clothes in the washing machine, treating him like her third son, just a bit older.
Although Miss Summer found this life very tiring, taking care of two kids, she didn’t think much of it.
Until Mr. Smith asked for a divorce, did she realize the severity of the problem.
Mr. Smith’s reason for divorce was simple: he found someone more appealing.
To Miss Summer, this was a bolt from the blue. She wondered why he would like someone else despite her good treatment. Was there someone who treated Mr. Smith better than her?
Not All Good Deeds Are Truly Good
As Franklin once said, a man’s spouse has three sacred names: initially called a virgin, then a bride, and finally a mother.
In many marriages, women’s care for men is no less than that of a mother’s.
However, not all good deeds, as women think, can maintain a marriage.
In fact, some acts, from a man’s perspective, are as bad as good.
Being frugal, saving all money to buy clothes, food, and necessities for the husband may seem familiar to many women.
But to men, this behavior adds pressure, reminding them constantly how their wives endure hardships.
Giving is Mutual
One-sided giving gives the other opportunities to seek happiness elsewhere.
A successful marriage requires mutual effort.
One-sided giving not only exhausts oneself but also gives the other enough freedom to meet new people.
The wife now handles all the exhausting household chores alone, leaving the husband to relax after work. His excess energy is often spent on other activities.
The wife’s indulgence leaves enough space and time for the husband to meet the so-called “right person.”
Allowing Space for Self-Realization
The basis of marriage is love, attachment, and respect, not just giving and taking all responsibilities.
A wife who manages everything not only keeps the house in order but also shows she doesn’t need her husband around.
Whether it’s changing light bulbs, doing laundry, or taking care of the kids, tasks meant for both are now solely done by the wife, winning praise from everyone.
However, everyone needs to realize their own value, whether at work or at home. If a husband is always in a position of being cared for, it may seem comfortable but can lead to confusion and loss as he struggles to find his place in the family.
This kind of family life and marriage will only make them want to escape!
Marriage is like a book; the first chapter is poetry, the rest, plain prose.
The secret to a lasting marriage lies in maintaining a healthy family dynamic.
Regardless of the reasons, it is essential for a woman to let the man take on the responsibilities he should in the marriage, which not only strengthens the bond between them but also lightens the woman’s life burden.
Treating a husband like a “son” may seem like a tactic to spice up the marriage, but it is actually the top marriage killer.
No one truly wishes to be “taken care of.” Independence is crucial for adults to realize their self-worth, both financially and in daily life.
So, let go of such terrifying thoughts to ensure a long-lasting and happy marriage!