Who fears betrayal the most in a relationship? Those who consider their partner as their everything.
When you view someone as your everything, betrayal means losing it all, losing the world.
If you see them as your everything, betrayal will hurt you deeply unless you realize this and make changes promptly.
Here’s a different perspective: not treating them as your everything can help you heal and move on from the shadows.
Don’t view them as your everything, especially emotionally and in daily life. Depend on yourself as much as possible.
Marriage is practical. Both sides need to offer value for the relationship to thrive, mainly emotional and practical value.
Marriage isn’t charity or blood relation. It’s about reciprocity. If I’m good to you, I expect the same. One-sided efforts lead to problems eventually.
The immense pain after betrayal stems from losing emotional reliance—a sudden feeling of being sidelined causes unrest and panic.
The solution isn’t making them take responsibility again but adjusting yourself and becoming self-reliant to address the root cause.
Self-reliance boils down to two things: emotionally relying on yourself and not expecting too much from others practically.
Don’t care too much about them. Don’t become their follower.
Remember, in any relationship, if they don’t care about you, continuing to care will only hurt yourself. Slowly let go of your care for them.
Independence in emotions is crucial. It starts with understanding yourself correctly. Those who live for others share a common trait—they live based on others’ opinions.
In relationships, building your self-esteem on others’ opinions is dangerous. Betrayal leads to extreme self-doubt and a tendency to seek approval.
If you don’t get it, here’s a simple example:
You buy a blue dress, he says it’s ugly, green is better—will you still think blue is nice?
Later, he admires someone in a green dress—would you switch to green to please him?
Understanding this example is key to grasping the underlying point.
After betrayal, reconstructing your self-worth is vital. Never base it on the betrayer, but on yourself, friends, or colleagues.
Someone who betrays you won’t give you positive feedback. This is something you must understand.