Honest men often think that there’s no difference between blind dates and free love, mistakenly believing that women in both scenarios would be willing to talk about feelings, but in reality, they often end up very disappointed after each blind date, finding that the majority of women in blind dates are focused on material gain and are not interested in building emotional connections.
The main reason is that women adopt different strategic approaches in free love and blind dates. Free love is often pursued for emotions and appearance, while blind dates are often a compromise for material gain (although both material gain and appearance are important).
This results in higher demands in blind dates compared to free love, making it harder for blind dates to succeed. Often, women won’t invest emotionally in blind date men and won’t engage in meaningful conversations; it’s more about the feeling of being pursued as if from a position of superiority.
Because women have a gambling mentality. In a blind date, they are in absolute control, and they find that they have a lot of choice. Therefore, they often pick and choose, are never satisfied, and have comprehensive demands for various aspects of the man. After all, a blind date is a backup plan, and if they can’t find someone who meets all their requirements, they might as well stay single and find someone themselves. So, they see blind dating as a kind of lottery, in case they find the right person.
Women treat blind date men differently than men they meet freely. Women in free love often invest in building emotional connections, whereas women on blind dates are often more focused on material gain and lack the motivation to build emotional connections.
They feel that they’ve already compromised themselves by coming on a blind date (feeling pressured to marry below their social status), and this sense of compromise must be compensated for somewhere else. So, unless you vigorously pursue them and become a “lapdog,” they won’t feel emotionally balanced.
When women consider marriage, it’s not just about valuing financial stability. However, during blind dates, financial stability is more valued, as there is no other reference except finance; how can they know about the man’s personality without getting to know him?
Generally, in daily life, even if they gradually develop feelings for a person and even if the person doesn’t meet their standards for a partner, they still consider marriage. But in a blind date where there’s no emotional foundation, they stick to their ideal partner standards and are unwilling to compromise. Because after lowering their standards, they can foresee the pain of pregnancy after marriage, limited job opportunities, declining health, and the hardships of raising children. In this situation, if the man can’t provide financial and emotional support, wouldn’t the woman hesitate to move forward?
As a single woman of a certain age, my conditions are not as good as those of the original poster’s friends. But I still hope that the men I meet on blind dates have better conditions. Unfortunately, I also know that I’m probably not going to meet anyone suitable through blind dates, so now I’m just going with the flow.
It’s not about settling, and it’s not about waiting for love. It’s about ensuring that at least love or financial stability is in place before getting married. Otherwise, getting married just for the sake of getting married would only bring more hardship.
In addition, after being single for a long time, I’m afraid of love and marriage. While I say I’ll go on blind dates, the thought of love, marriage, and having children makes me tremble, and I’m not willing to change my single status.
In summary, blind dates are often pursued for marriage.
So, when do women think about getting married?
First, when there’s a deep emotional connection.
Second, when there’s a strong financial foundation.
The first point is always necessary, and the second is essential for blind dates.
Why? Because the pursuit of love and relationships in real life require time and financial costs. Random encounters (like in free love) are uncontrollable, and there’s no way to control the financial aspect, but love just happens, and often, discussions about finance and compromises come later. Blind dates, on the other hand, are controllable, and of course, it’s essential to control the financial conditions; otherwise, why waste time?
However, most men with slightly better conditions are already married or in relationships, or they simply don’t want to get married and just want to have fun. In any case, they won’t come on blind dates. As a result, the men you meet on blind dates are those who want to get married and find a partner but are unable to attract women due to their own conditions.
Of course, I’m not saying that the women on the other side definitely have better conditions. It’s just that most of these men probably can’t get women to spend time with them when there’s no emotional foundation, because they’re unattractive or poor and lack the motivation to spend time with women proactively.
My mother once said that emotions are cultivated. So why not cultivate an excellent one? Of course, because I’m not very outstanding, I still haven’t found one.
But this doesn’t stop me from continuing to look for someone better, because once I compromise, it means that I will live a life that’s worse than my current one, and my quality of life will decrease. Why bother?