A Man Who Truly Loves You Doesn’t Avoid Arguments with You, but Argues with You Properly
A girl asked me:
The other night, I had another argument with my boyfriend. We often argue because he doesn’t wash dishes, plays games, and leaves dirty socks everywhere.
Yesterday, I was washing dishes in the kitchen, and my boyfriend came over and touched my chest. The atmosphere was good, but then he said, “Ah, if only your chest were bigger.” I got angry and asked, “What did you say?” He replied, “What’s wrong? Can’t I joke with you?” I retorted, “Then I’ll joke with you too, wishing your dick were bigger.” His face darkened, and I said, “You like joking, right? Then don’t be upset. Last time you called me fat, I didn’t argue with you!”
He said, “Why are you so unreasonable?” I said, “I’m unreasonable? Then maybe we should break up.”
He slammed the door and didn’t come back until midnight.
We’ve been giving each other the silent treatment these days, and I feel really sad. This argument seems insurmountable. What should I do?
I’ve got this, so I’ll answer. Hehe.
Dear,
Your response—“wishing your dick were bigger,” gets 100 points from me.
Why should women’s chests be categorized into different cup sizes (A, B, C, D), while men’s private parts are not graded by size? I strongly advocate for a universal grading system for private parts!
I really want to elaborate on this topic for ten thousand words, but if the netizens see it, they’ll probably kill me… so I’ll hold back my tears a bit.
So, what kind of man truly loves you?
A man who never argues with you?
That’s not realistic. In fact, the more a man loves you, the more he enjoys arguing with you—arguing in a way that looks like showing off love to others.
So, getting back to the point, let’s discuss how to argue with a boyfriend/husband, and how a man who truly loves you argues with you.
Part 1
Before saying “let’s break up,” think it over carefully when you’re angry.
Women commonly say two things when angry—the first is “let’s break up.” Unfortunately, when they say this, it’s not what they truly feel inside. It’s just a desperate venting. Besides tears, this is their way of expressing anger to the world.
During an argument, hurtful words are spoken, at least for most women. Though they still love the other person like fire in their hearts, they easily say the most hurtful things.
Why do they do this? It’s to make the other person come and comfort them, understand their grievances, or make the person realize their mistake and change their behavior.
Do they have ill intentions? No. But no one can deny that such words, when heard, are enough to completely enrage a male like a newly sharpened knife plunging into his chest.
Part 2
In the eyes of others, as a seemingly flirtatious girl, I usually take a softer approach during an argument.
Note, don’t ridicule or insult him. Try to express your dissatisfaction and needs in a cute and gentle tone. Your goal is to make him realize you’re unhappy, to make him understand, apologize, and comfort you, rather than to win an argument.
You must have heard this story.
During an argument, the husband tells his wife to leave, and she comes over, holds him, and says, “You’re mine. I’m taking you with me,” and they reconcile.
I want to convey the same message.
Part 3
Don’t argue with the other person with extreme emotions.
Find another way to release negative emotions. Don’t use your cherished relationship as a dumpster for venting negative emotions.
Would you argue like this with a regular friend? With a colleague or even a boss? No, because you know it damages relationships, and wounds may leave scars. Conflicts arise when arguments stop.
You can release your emotions through activities like running, punching a bag, yoga, or music.
Calm your emotions until you can speak normally and calmly, without emotions rushing ahead of your thoughts.
You might say, “If I stop being emotional, why argue?” I understand the need to argue, but the ultimate goal is to resolve the dispute. After all, we have to live together after the argument, right?
Part 4
Focus on the issue at hand; bringing up old issues isn’t cool.
If you don’t like your boyfriend commenting on your chest size, discuss this specific issue. Come to an understanding to avoid personal attacks on each other’s bodies in the future.
Simply say, “I don’t like it,” and there’s no need to rehash past incidents.
Women tend to be like historians when arguing, remembering events from 300 years ago.
Don’t tally the other person’s shortcomings or mistakes. Explain each incident clearly and refrain from bringing it up again.
Can we women be a bit cooler? It’s just an argument; don’t drag it out. It’s not very attractive.
When we’re with someone, it’s with the intention of being together for a lifetime. Our relationship is for the future, so it’s best to approach it lightly.
Continually bringing up old issues only adds burden, making our journey very difficult. Why bother?
Part 5
How does a man who truly loves you argue with you?
How can we determine if a man truly loves us through arguments?
It’s simple. A man who truly loves you includes you in his future plans.
In reality, love is simple. It’s just the mundane things of life. The perfect love isn’t about being otherworldly; it’s about the ordinary.
A man who truly loves you will argue with you but will never hit your sore spots. This is the greatest evidence of his love for you.
He knows that arguing with you is about solving problems, not venting emotions.
He won’t give you the silent treatment and will express all his grievances openly during arguments.
He won’t easily suggest breaking up and won’t bring up old issues repeatedly.
He will tolerate your small emotions and guide you to grow together.
The evidence of his love for you is arguing with you properly.