There were several evenings when I chatted with a college friend of mine, discussing life late into the night. He’s currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Japan, specializing in cultural anthropology, and has researched some interesting topics—such as studying “mistresses,” solitary dining, and choosing not to marry.
Due to the overall social repression and serious class stratification in Japanese society, coupled with high social welfare, many young people have low desires for work, love, and marriage. This phenomenon is gradually emerging in other countries as well. More and more people are beginning to ponder the meaning of love and marriage. The traditional idea of “getting married when you reach a certain age” is gradually disintegrating.
Admittedly, being single has gradually become a trend. Of course, many people are single simply because they can’t find a partner and are forced into singleness. However, I want to understand how those who “would rather be alone than settle” or enjoy being single view singleness and what the benefits of being single are.
With this question in mind, I discussed this topic with my single female friends and asked them, “What are the benefits of being single?” Here are their answers.
A; 26 years old, Media Professional
“My parents have always had a poor relationship. My mom is a homemaker, so she’s never dared to divorce over the past 20 years. This makes me very afraid of following in my mom’s footsteps. So, I think, while I’m still young and single, I should earn more money.
Being single isn’t good or bad. I didn’t intentionally choose to be single; I just didn’t intentionally choose to date. Being single means more time, and time is money.”
B; 26 years old, Public Relations Professional
“I was with my ex-boyfriend for two years, and looking back now, I feel that both of us were constrained by the relationship. At the beginning, we were very much in love, and everything we did was joyful. Later, the love faded, and everything felt like a routine, very mechanized. Love became lonelier and more boring than being single.
In reality, being alone is great. You can go wherever you want, do whatever you like, and wear whatever you want. Going to a nightclub is just for relaxation, but with a boyfriend, you’d start overthinking. Dressing sexily is also about feeling beautiful, but a boyfriend might think it’s promiscuous. For the sake of a boyfriend, I suppressed a lot.
I think the most precious thing about being alone is freedom. And freedom is something that only singleness can provide.”
C; 27 years old, Illustrator
“Being single allows for a more calm and careful observation of life. Love easily makes a girl lose her rationality and critical thinking. For someone in my industry, which thrives on youthful inspiration, love is truly a terrible investment.”
D; 27 years old, Entrepreneur
“I’m as busy as a dog, don’t even have any sexual desire, and don’t have any desire to date. Believe it or not, I don’t envy anyone who’s in a relationship. Life is about pursuing happiness, and I’m happy alone. Working with my team, going through hardships, eating together, laughing and chatting, it’s much more interesting than dating.
The benefit of being single is that you can spread your wings and it feels fantastic!”
E; 28 years old, Occupation Unknown
“When in a relationship, I don’t envy anyone because I’m genuinely happy. When single, I also don’t envy anyone because I’m also happy. Love or being single is just a form of existence in life, with no distinction between good and bad. If being single, in a relationship, or married are all occupations, then every occupation has its top performers, right? I’m the single champion now.”
F; 28 years old, Print Model
“The benefit of being single is emotional stability. When in a relationship, there are moments of happiness, sadness, and anger, and the emotions are unstable and uncertain. I’m more carefree now, taking life lightly, tending to my plants, raising my cat. Being alone, I can truly enjoy peace and quiet.”
G; 30 years old, Advertising Planner
“If you’ve been single for a long time, you certainly won’t think being single has any benefits. But if you’ve been married or been in a few relationships, even if your marriage is good, you might fantasize about being single.
Being single is like drinking plain water, and love is like honey. When you’ve had too much honey, you’ll realize that plain water is the best.”
H; 30 years old, Tea Artisan
“Being in a relationship is like watching a show. People who are idle are sure to enjoy watching shows, and people who are bored will long for a relationship. But for those who have their own little world and enjoy it, marriage or love doesn’t matter.
If I had to say the benefit of being single, I think it’s relaxation.”
I; 33 years old, Internet Celebrity Agent
“I’ve been married before and had a couple of short relationships after my divorce. But honestly, none of the men gave me the happiness I wanted. Later, I realized that expecting others to bring you happiness is wrong.
No one can provide lasting happiness except for yourself. Women should also find happiness in their careers. The satisfaction and sense of achievement gained from a career are much greater than the joy and happiness from love.”
J; 35 years old, Bitcoin
“You can ask any girl if they all have a dream of traveling the world. Exploring the outside world is human nature, but for those who explore their inner selves, their happiness is beyond the imagination of ordinary people.
Everyone says inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but how many people truly believe that? Most people are superficial, so most of them are unhappy, whether they are single or married, always getting angry over trivial matters.
But for those with a rich inner world, they are happy alone, and being with others feels more repulsive.”
Well, these answers are from my single female friends. Their responses have truly taught me a lesson, and of course, because I also agree with many of their answers.
Speaking for myself, I’ve been in several relationships, all ending in various breakups. My understanding of love and the way people exist is quite complex.
Of course, love has its moments, but apart from the few months of falling in love or the few months after a breakup, love feels like a very superficial and utilitarian affair most of the time. Marriage goes without saying. A couple’s world is always mundane.
This leads to a problem: many single people live poorly and long for someone to help them escape their miserable lives. However, in reality, being together often makes it worse (it doesn’t feel that way during the honeymoon phase, but problems surface with time).
If you can’t live well alone, you won’t live well together. For most people, being single is a life predicament, as is love and marriage. Throughout life, people are constantly moving from one predicament to another, and it’s essentially unsolvable.
So, instead of lingering in various predicaments, it’s better to settle down and live a good life, work on self-improvement, work hard, and earn money.
Being single means you have more time to organize your life. You can read more books, travel to more places, and make more friends. Your life becomes richer. Admittedly, for women who can’t live without a man and can’t tolerate even a day of being single, talking to them about the richness of life feels like nonsense.
Anyway, I believe being single means you have a great opportunity to improve yourself.
Truly, you can live a fantastic life on your own. I’ve tried it, and it really works.