We’ve all heard “home is not a place for reasoning,” but, of course, that’s not entirely true.
If there’s no reasoning at all, then it’s definitely not okay. But if it’s all about reasoning, then it’s clear that the person doesn’t understand love. It’s as if everything is based on reasoning, like there’s a sense of detachment.
It’s the same for lovers. There are many who don’t reason, and they easily become unreasonable. But if two people truly love each other, even if one is being unreasonable, the other will find a way to “comfort” the upset person until they stop being unreasonable.
It’s just like dealing with children. When they’re being unreasonable, they’re simply seeking more care and love. When everything goes as they want, they naturally stop being unreasonable.
Of course, if they become too unreasonable, it’s no longer about seeking love, but about excessive demands.
In short, when two people truly love each other, they can’t just base everything on reasoning. In their daily interactions and emotional connections, it’s definitely not about reasoning; it’s about love and affection.
“Reasoning” is about rationality and logic, and it’s something that’s calm. But “love” is about warmth and tenderness, and this is the main purpose of being together.
Mutual warmth, passion, deep affection, and love. These are what’s needed to give a relationship warmth, to make it last longer, and to make each other feel happiness.
This is also the meaning of being together. This kind of love brings motivation to each other, wards off loneliness and the fear of the unknown in the world.
This love makes each other feel that their existence has meaning and value. Because they need each other, think of each other, keep each other company, and support each other.
All of these are forms of love and affection, coming from the heart. So when two people have conflicts, a hug can convey an apology and affection, a kiss can dissipate resentment, and some sweet words can dispel dissatisfaction.
But when there’s a conflict, if you just sit down and reason with the other person, it might not have any substantial effect.
The other person may not want to listen, or may not be able to take it in. They may find you boring and think that what they need is a display of emotions and language, they need to be “coaxed,” but you’re just listing points, wouldn’t that be awkward and lacking warmth?
So, when a lover is upset, or when there’s a disagreement between the two of you, remember to say sweet words, remember to kiss and hug each other, and to use more of those behaviors and words that convey emotions, rather than just relying on rigid reasoning.
We know a lot about reasoning, but in front of your lover, can’t you be a little spoiled? Can’t you be a little unreasonable and wait to be coaxed? Can’t you be cared for, loved, and pampered?
If they want to listen to reasoning, there’s a lot out there in the world and in books for us to learn and use.
In short, reasoning isn’t entirely useless in a relationship; it’s just about when to use it. If the other person also wants to reason, then you can discuss together. If the other person doesn’t want to listen to reasoning, then don’t reason with them alone.
That will only make you drift further apart, and neither of you will feel any affection in your relationship. Emotional words and actions are much more effective than reasoning.
In conclusion, those who always want to reason with their partner either don’t understand how to love someone or simply don’t love, so they don’t want to use warm behaviors and words.
On the other hand, someone who truly understands and loves you won’t just reason with you when you’re unhappy or when there’s a conflict between you. Instead, they’ll accompany you, comfort you, and treat you with gentle words and actions.