Today, let’s discuss a controversial topic: “Would you give up socializing with the opposite sex for your partner?”
In reality, many of us face this dilemma. Would you abandon your social circle or cut off contact with the opposite sex once you have a partner?
Some may adamantly claim they wouldn’t, but in reality, circumstances often force them to. If your partner is possessive and jealous, you might find it hard to maintain friendships with the opposite sex.
Some believe that having or not having friends of the opposite sex doesn’t matter as it doesn’t affect their lives. But for those who had opposite-sex friends before or value their freedom, restrictions imposed by their partners can be uncomfortable.
Making friends with the opposite sex is similar to making friends in general—it’s about friendship. Love, on the other hand, is different. Both are basic emotional needs, and one shouldn’t override the other or lead to sacrificing one for the other. Such actions are abnormal and even unhealthy.
Dealing with a controlling partner can be very distressing, causing a lot of people to feel troubled.
I asked a few friends about their thoughts, and their responses can be roughly categorized as follows:
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To reassure their partner, some are willing to distance themselves from opposite-sex friends. For example, Mrs. Wang, my neighbor, gradually lost contact with her opposite-sex friends after marrying her husband. She did this to avoid gossip and to reassure her husband. This traditional mindset shows wisdom, knowing how to avoid suspicion and being willing to sacrifice personal connections for the sake of the family.
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Some believe that friends are friends, and partners are partners. As long as boundaries are respected, there’s no need to deliberately avoid opposite-sex friends. For instance, my colleague, Jane, initially had arguments with her husband over this issue. However, by including her husband in social activities with her friends, he eventually felt at ease. Over time, her friends became friends with her husband as well.
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Others, like Miss Xu, believe in living for oneself rather than solely for others’ happiness. They value personal happiness and independence. They think it’s unwise to sacrifice their social circle for one person and emphasize the importance of having a life beyond their partner.
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It depends on the situation. After marriage, family takes priority. For example, my cousin, Dot, believes that family should come first after marriage. While they prioritize family, they are also open to adapting based on future circumstances.
Each person has their own views and actions on this matter, influenced by their values, society, and the people around them. It’s normal to have differing opinions. This dilemma affects many people, and we have all made our choices regarding it.
Would you give up socializing with the opposite sex for your partner? If you’re single, you can have your social circle with both genders. If you have a partner, it’s important to consider their feelings and maintain appropriate boundaries with the opposite sex. This shows respect for your partner, and as a partner, it’s crucial to trust your significant other and not restrict their freedom to socialize.
Are you still struggling with giving up socializing with the opposite sex for your partner? Are you torn between “love and friendship” and feeling anxious? Consider the viewpoints above, and hopefully, they can offer you some guidance.