A friend talked about his marriage with a sense of helplessness.
He had a memorable first love, but due to circumstances, they had to break up. He carried a deep distrust towards love for a long time, thinking that loving someone else would be futile.
Although the scars from his first love remained, he knew he had to move forward. Approaching his thirties, under the pressure from family and colleagues, he met a girl through a blind date.
Both were compatible, with no family obstacles, so they got married within half a year of dating.
Initially, with their income and jobs, they should have had a good life. However, he couldn’t love his wife, being critical of her.
Marriage and love are different. While a marriage based on love is good, such perfect scenarios are rare. Even passionate love eventually settles into a routine.
Life involves mundane tasks like chores and responsibilities, unlike the exciting promises of love.
Feeling regret as the days passed uneventfully, he realized marrying just for the sake of it was torturous.
I asked him if he tried to nurture their marriage, finding common ground, shared interests, and getting closer to his wife.
Disdainfully, he said she was good at nothing except taking care of the kids and doing housework, and watching soap operas.
Despite being successful at work, he lacked the ability to love. His past experiences revealed his shortcomings.
Unrequited love is common, learning to let go and make choices is part of life’s wisdom.
Sadly, he dwelled on the past, missing the chance to appreciate the simple happiness in front of him. His wife, quiet and understanding, took good care of their kids and made their home cozy.
She hoped he would recognize her efforts one day. Her words nearly brought tears to my eyes.
Finding the right person in marriage is subjective. Many believe a passionate love leads to a happy marriage, but life is more complex.
His wife, though not his first love, was not lacking. He failed to see her worth, defining her as “loveless” prematurely.
Even with his true love, life would still consist of mundane aspects. Understanding this might have brought him peace.
He didn’t lack the chance to meet the right person; he lacked the ability to love and start anew.
Many singles feel like they can’t find the right partner, but compatibility is nurtured through effort and compromise.
I know a woman who, after seven years of blind dates since she was 28, felt her youth wasted on fruitless pursuits. But her pickiness hindered potential relationships.
Everyone wants to find the perfect match at first sight, but perfection is rare.
Some say marrying for money or without love is wrong, but idealized lives exist only in stories. Reality is full of contradictions.
Instead of seeking love, learning to love someone is crucial for a fulfilling life.
Previous generations’ arranged marriages, based on mutual efforts, often led to content lives despite the lack of initial love.
Modern marriages, born out of love, often struggle to withstand life’s challenges. It boils down to the individual’s ability to love.
Facing difficulties, some rush into or out of marriages instead of resolving conflicts, choosing escapism over solutions.
In life, emotional wounds run deep, affecting us or others. Eventually, you must choose a partner. Without learning to love, one might live in turmoil.
As said, the key to life is the ability to love, not just being loved. Learning to love is essential for lasting relationships.
Once you possess this ability, happiness can be found with anyone. Anyone has the potential to be the right person.